1. If you want to meet a guy you're intersted in, walk by him slowly and totally ignore him at the some time.
2. Once you're dating a guy, don't gush or otherwise show him how you feel about him.
3. Don't accept a date with less than three days' notice.
4. The second time he asks you out for a Saturday night, tell him you're busy.
5. Never call him first, unless it's to cancel a date.
6. Wait at least sex hours before returning his calls or e-mails.
7. Don't kiss him until the fourth date - at least.
8. Make sure he sees you hanging out with friends and busy with other activities. Make him think you're demand.
9. If he compliments you on your jewellery, be vague about where you got it. Let him think it's from an old boyfriend.
10. If you see him hanging with another girl, don't ask him who she is or act as if you care. Act superconfident and secure!
Hey girls, this GUIDE help a lot of my friends and they are very happy. They are very happpy to have a boy friend that love them now. What I wanted u to do now is fallow the GUIDE. This GUIDE even get me and the most popular guy in school fell in love. And i am very happy to myself. So, please, do tell me if the GUIDE help. And at the last, I wanted to tell u guys thank you for following the GUIDE. Once agine,THANK YOU.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
tursday 12
Tursday 12
Dear Dumb Dairy,
Turns out that we also got lunch lady from Wodehouse Middle School. Today, she made the best school lunch that ever been severed in Mackerel Middle School.
It was called beef pate. That's pronounced pa-TAY, which might be French for meat loaf, if Sam is right. Truthfully, it did't taste much better than the turd loaf that they usually serve us on Tursdays, but you could tell it was A LOT BETTER because there was a little sprig of parsley on the plate, which makes everything more appealling.
Dear Dumb Dairy,
Turns out that we also got lunch lady from Wodehouse Middle School. Today, she made the best school lunch that ever been severed in Mackerel Middle School.
It was called beef pate. That's pronounced pa-TAY, which might be French for meat loaf, if Sam is right. Truthfully, it did't taste much better than the turd loaf that they usually serve us on Tursdays, but you could tell it was A LOT BETTER because there was a little sprig of parsley on the plate, which makes everything more appealling.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
tuesday10
Tuesday 10
Dear Dumb Diary,
Colette sat with us at luch today. The name Colette is French, so I guess I wasn't suprised to see her eating FRENCH fries. I asked her if she had French toast for breakfast and then almast immediately regretted it becaouse she looked at me like I took at my little cousin when I see him putting something in his nose.
Fortunately, Sam was there and she is really good at conversation.
"So, what is it that you're afther?" Sam asked, in what might not have been her nest conversational effort to date.
"After?" Colette said with innocent cuteness. I had to explain how Sam is just naturally suspicious of everybody because of her mean older brothers. Collette just smiled really big and said, "Oh, I know something about getting evrn with mean older brothers."
I am not a little sister, so I don't speak the language these two were talking, but I managed to pick up bits and pieces of what Colette was telling Sam, like:
"Loop the rope once only. Any more then that, and you could send then to the emergency room."
"Use spoiled cat food. It's the worst, and don't get any on your hands. It could blind you."
And....
"Make sure they understand that if they tell the police, it will be way worse next time."
Sam took notes that olled better than any she had ever taken before, and when Colette left, she said, "That may be the finest little sister that has ever lived. This is a level of treachery and payback that I never even imagined."
Sam looked a litter like Aunt Clover did the day she told me she was engaged.
Dear Dumb Diary,
Colette sat with us at luch today. The name Colette is French, so I guess I wasn't suprised to see her eating FRENCH fries. I asked her if she had French toast for breakfast and then almast immediately regretted it becaouse she looked at me like I took at my little cousin when I see him putting something in his nose.
Fortunately, Sam was there and she is really good at conversation.
"So, what is it that you're afther?" Sam asked, in what might not have been her nest conversational effort to date.
"After?" Colette said with innocent cuteness. I had to explain how Sam is just naturally suspicious of everybody because of her mean older brothers. Collette just smiled really big and said, "Oh, I know something about getting evrn with mean older brothers."
I am not a little sister, so I don't speak the language these two were talking, but I managed to pick up bits and pieces of what Colette was telling Sam, like:
"Loop the rope once only. Any more then that, and you could send then to the emergency room."
"Use spoiled cat food. It's the worst, and don't get any on your hands. It could blind you."
And....
"Make sure they understand that if they tell the police, it will be way worse next time."
Sam took notes that olled better than any she had ever taken before, and when Colette left, she said, "That may be the finest little sister that has ever lived. This is a level of treachery and payback that I never even imagined."
Sam looked a litter like Aunt Clover did the day she told me she was engaged.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Monday 09
Monday 09
Dear Dumb Diary,
The visitors from the faraway middle school arrived today. Okay, it's only a couple miles away, but still. I had a close encounter with one today and, excellently, so did Angel.
Here's how it went: We were in English class and Mr. Evans was talking about his dumb understanding - cultures - through - writting thing, and he started goiving us a haiku lesson.
A haiku is a Traditional Japaneses there - line poem that has five syllab;es in the first line, seven in the next line, and then five in the last line, which is useful to know in case you ever find yourself in a position where you're insired to write a beautiful poem, but you can't be bothered to spend any more than seventeen syllables o the project.
So, Mr. Evans read us a few, and I guess they're kind of pretty. Most of them seemed to be about flowers and birds. Then he asked ur to write one, but he only have ur a couple minutes. I really don't think it was fair to make us read them out loud, but he did.
Anyway, this was mine:
Five syllables here.
And now you got seven more.
And now five. Happy?
When Evans is angry he pumps extra blood throught his face so that his big ugly head - vein throbs at you. He gave ne a couple of throbs and then called Angel. This, unfartunatley, was her haiku:
The sparrow's music
Is brighter and lovelier
Than festive feathers.
It got a little round of applause, of coures, becaouse even Angel's intestinal gas would get a littke round applause.
But before they could all erect a bid gold statue to the memory of how excellent Angel's haiku was, a girl in the black - one I had not noticed when I came in - raised her hand. She was one of the new Wodehouse iddle School kids. Ang Mr. Evans called on her: " Yes, Colette."
Dear Dumb Diary,
The visitors from the faraway middle school arrived today. Okay, it's only a couple miles away, but still. I had a close encounter with one today and, excellently, so did Angel.
Here's how it went: We were in English class and Mr. Evans was talking about his dumb understanding - cultures - through - writting thing, and he started goiving us a haiku lesson.
A haiku is a Traditional Japaneses there - line poem that has five syllab;es in the first line, seven in the next line, and then five in the last line, which is useful to know in case you ever find yourself in a position where you're insired to write a beautiful poem, but you can't be bothered to spend any more than seventeen syllables o the project.
So, Mr. Evans read us a few, and I guess they're kind of pretty. Most of them seemed to be about flowers and birds. Then he asked ur to write one, but he only have ur a couple minutes. I really don't think it was fair to make us read them out loud, but he did.
Anyway, this was mine:
Five syllables here.
And now you got seven more.
And now five. Happy?
When Evans is angry he pumps extra blood throught his face so that his big ugly head - vein throbs at you. He gave ne a couple of throbs and then called Angel. This, unfartunatley, was her haiku:
The sparrow's music
Is brighter and lovelier
Than festive feathers.
It got a little round of applause, of coures, becaouse even Angel's intestinal gas would get a littke round applause.
But before they could all erect a bid gold statue to the memory of how excellent Angel's haiku was, a girl in the black - one I had not noticed when I came in - raised her hand. She was one of the new Wodehouse iddle School kids. Ang Mr. Evans called on her: " Yes, Colette."
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
saturday 07
Saturday 07
Dear Dumb Diary,
Angel called FIRST THING THIS MORNING!!! She is one of those insane people that gets up early on days doesn't have to get up early.
The project we're doingisn't due for weeks, but Angel wants to PLAN AHEAD, Angel. I was PLANNING on putting it off until the day before it was due, which is a totally legitimate kind of planning. So you're not the only one capable of PLANNING, Blongwad.
Anyway, Angel is a PARENT WHISPERER, one of those people that can talk to parents and undersyand their odd language. She told Mom all about the project, so now, of course, Mom will be on my back untiil it's done. She also told my mom about the plan she had for us today, and how she and her mom would be by in a while to pick me up . . .
. . . to go take pictures of graffiti somewhere.
Angel's mom, you might remamber, Dumb Diary, looks a lot like Angel(you know, after Angel is deformed into a mom) but has hair that is even worse then mine.
She and Agel seem to have a very strange mother - daughter relationship in which they talk nicely to each other. What's that about, right?
Her mom is really nice to me because her brother, Assistant Principal Devan, is marrying my aunt Clover, which I think will make her my cousin or grandma - in - law or something like that if the divorce i'm hopping for doesn't come throught(fungers crossed).
I like Angel's mom, which makes me wonder if Angel was abopted. Or built in some twisted doll factory.
We drove upt o the supermarket and tried to figure out someth9ing we could say about the graffiti written on the wall out by the trash cans. (Hey, here's a tip, graffitists, if you want ur to read your name so bad that you'll paint it on the wall, why don't you PRINT CLEARLY?)
Nice i dea you had, Angel. We'll have to faind something better than this for our dumb project.
Dear Dumb Diary,
Angel called FIRST THING THIS MORNING!!! She is one of those insane people that gets up early on days doesn't have to get up early.
The project we're doingisn't due for weeks, but Angel wants to PLAN AHEAD, Angel. I was PLANNING on putting it off until the day before it was due, which is a totally legitimate kind of planning. So you're not the only one capable of PLANNING, Blongwad.
Anyway, Angel is a PARENT WHISPERER, one of those people that can talk to parents and undersyand their odd language. She told Mom all about the project, so now, of course, Mom will be on my back untiil it's done. She also told my mom about the plan she had for us today, and how she and her mom would be by in a while to pick me up . . .
. . . to go take pictures of graffiti somewhere.
Angel's mom, you might remamber, Dumb Diary, looks a lot like Angel(you know, after Angel is deformed into a mom) but has hair that is even worse then mine.
She and Agel seem to have a very strange mother - daughter relationship in which they talk nicely to each other. What's that about, right?
Her mom is really nice to me because her brother, Assistant Principal Devan, is marrying my aunt Clover, which I think will make her my cousin or grandma - in - law or something like that if the divorce i'm hopping for doesn't come throught(fungers crossed).
I like Angel's mom, which makes me wonder if Angel was abopted. Or built in some twisted doll factory.
We drove upt o the supermarket and tried to figure out someth9ing we could say about the graffiti written on the wall out by the trash cans. (Hey, here's a tip, graffitists, if you want ur to read your name so bad that you'll paint it on the wall, why don't you PRINT CLEARLY?)
Nice i dea you had, Angel. We'll have to faind something better than this for our dumb project.
Monday, April 6, 2009
friday 06
Friday 06
Dear Dumb Diary,
Beautiful glorious news! Today they told us that something went stinkfully wrong with the heating or ventilation system or something over at Wodehouse Middle School. Supposedly it's some kind of horrible odor maybe even poisonous. Since they think it's going to take weeks to repair, they're busing the kids to different nearby schools, and Mackerel Middle School is one of them.
I'm THRILLED that foreigners are coming. I love people eho aren't from here! And i'll bet they're all pretty excited that they're not from here, too. I know that if I was not from here, i'd be pretty excited.
I mean, the only problem with here is that it's where I'm from. And they're only a few miles away, but i wonder if they'll have accents. England is only a few inches from France, and they have different accents.
Sam is suspicious of the Wodehouse kids, and tinks that they will probably take our stuff. Sam has mean older brothers, so she has grown up thinking that somebody is always going to take her stuff or trow a bogger at her.
This may be why Sam wrongfully believes that every place elsa is better. (Except those place with weird laws like you can't dance with a monkey or wear high heels. We both agree that those places are worse.)
*Samantha and me on a CRIME SPREE (with a monkey)
Dear Dumb Diary,
Beautiful glorious news! Today they told us that something went stinkfully wrong with the heating or ventilation system or something over at Wodehouse Middle School. Supposedly it's some kind of horrible odor maybe even poisonous. Since they think it's going to take weeks to repair, they're busing the kids to different nearby schools, and Mackerel Middle School is one of them.
I'm THRILLED that foreigners are coming. I love people eho aren't from here! And i'll bet they're all pretty excited that they're not from here, too. I know that if I was not from here, i'd be pretty excited.
I mean, the only problem with here is that it's where I'm from. And they're only a few miles away, but i wonder if they'll have accents. England is only a few inches from France, and they have different accents.
Sam is suspicious of the Wodehouse kids, and tinks that they will probably take our stuff. Sam has mean older brothers, so she has grown up thinking that somebody is always going to take her stuff or trow a bogger at her.
This may be why Sam wrongfully believes that every place elsa is better. (Except those place with weird laws like you can't dance with a monkey or wear high heels. We both agree that those places are worse.)
*Samantha and me on a CRIME SPREE (with a monkey)
thursday 05
Tursday 05
Dear Dumb Diary,
Meat Loaf Day, of coures. Thursday is always Meat Loaf Day. If you buy your lunch at school, lunchroom monitor Bruntford is there to make you eat the meat loaf, in spite of the fact that it smells like baked armpit.
Our opinion of Miss Bruntford has changed, I guess, She is still ad mean and nasty as, let's say, a cow with thingies that could choot flames at you,. but when Miss Amy's hopes and dreams, so in some ways she's really, really nice.
Still, it's easier to eat the meat loaf thantoget into an argument with Miss Barny about it, so today I tried to make it more appetizing by sayinh "meat loaf" with a French accent. But cantorting my mouth in French ways just made me gag more.
Sam was doing her best to try to make me laugh while I was eating. I told her never to do that becouse I once heard about this girl at another school who laughed while she was eating lunch and shot spaghetti out of her nose. The teachers were afraid it was an intestine or vein or something, so the school nures had to come down to the lunchroom and remove it while the entire word of her school watched. Of course, the combination of nasal-noodle - poisoning and high - intensity embarrassment nearly killed her.
While Sam worked even harder to make me laught, Angel walked by on her way to the super - popular table. I could have sworn that I noticed Angel stop for a split secong next to our table, as if she was thinking about sitting down.
Angel can sit wherever she wants, of coures. Everybody knows that. When you are as pretty and popular ad Angelr, there is a very short list of place you cannot sit to eat lunch.
WHERE ANGEL CAN'T SIT TO EAT HER LUNCH
1. MARS (FOR NOW)
2. ON TOP OF THE PRESIDENT'S LUNCH
3. THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT
I thought she was thiking about joining us, but she must have just stopped for a second to let a wedgie self - -correct or something like that. (Sam says that super - attractive people don't get the sort of wedgies that repuire you to go in after then like a rescue team saving a puppy stuck in a cave. They have the ability to gracefully flex their heinies in such way that thei butt, like, spits out the underpants - which sounds horrible and magnificent at the sane time.)
*ANGEL'S FAVORITE LUNCH? FLOWER PETALS WITH GLITTER AND PERFUMR PROBABLY...
After lunch, we stopped by the office to see Aunt Clover and lisent to her blabber on about her wedding dress and shoes and veil and all that junk. Sam mentioned that the wedding was coming up fast that she would be surprised if everything was ready in time.
I think this freaked out Aunt Clover a litter, becouse she grabbed a calender and showed it to Sam and told her that she had plenty of time.
Then she told Sam againe that she had plenty of time and then she told me. She told us both a couple more time and then she actually taol that calendar that she had plenty of time, but it almost sounded more like she was begging calendar instead of telling it.
Nice one, Sam. Seriously, what were you thinking?
Dear Dumb Diary,
Meat Loaf Day, of coures. Thursday is always Meat Loaf Day. If you buy your lunch at school, lunchroom monitor Bruntford is there to make you eat the meat loaf, in spite of the fact that it smells like baked armpit.
Our opinion of Miss Bruntford has changed, I guess, She is still ad mean and nasty as, let's say, a cow with thingies that could choot flames at you,. but when Miss Amy's hopes and dreams, so in some ways she's really, really nice.
Still, it's easier to eat the meat loaf thantoget into an argument with Miss Barny about it, so today I tried to make it more appetizing by sayinh "meat loaf" with a French accent. But cantorting my mouth in French ways just made me gag more.
Sam was doing her best to try to make me laugh while I was eating. I told her never to do that becouse I once heard about this girl at another school who laughed while she was eating lunch and shot spaghetti out of her nose. The teachers were afraid it was an intestine or vein or something, so the school nures had to come down to the lunchroom and remove it while the entire word of her school watched. Of course, the combination of nasal-noodle - poisoning and high - intensity embarrassment nearly killed her.
While Sam worked even harder to make me laught, Angel walked by on her way to the super - popular table. I could have sworn that I noticed Angel stop for a split secong next to our table, as if she was thinking about sitting down.
Angel can sit wherever she wants, of coures. Everybody knows that. When you are as pretty and popular ad Angelr, there is a very short list of place you cannot sit to eat lunch.
WHERE ANGEL CAN'T SIT TO EAT HER LUNCH
1. MARS (FOR NOW)
2. ON TOP OF THE PRESIDENT'S LUNCH
3. THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT
I thought she was thiking about joining us, but she must have just stopped for a second to let a wedgie self - -correct or something like that. (Sam says that super - attractive people don't get the sort of wedgies that repuire you to go in after then like a rescue team saving a puppy stuck in a cave. They have the ability to gracefully flex their heinies in such way that thei butt, like, spits out the underpants - which sounds horrible and magnificent at the sane time.)
*ANGEL'S FAVORITE LUNCH? FLOWER PETALS WITH GLITTER AND PERFUMR PROBABLY...
After lunch, we stopped by the office to see Aunt Clover and lisent to her blabber on about her wedding dress and shoes and veil and all that junk. Sam mentioned that the wedding was coming up fast that she would be surprised if everything was ready in time.
I think this freaked out Aunt Clover a litter, becouse she grabbed a calender and showed it to Sam and told her that she had plenty of time.
Then she told Sam againe that she had plenty of time and then she told me. She told us both a couple more time and then she actually taol that calendar that she had plenty of time, but it almost sounded more like she was begging calendar instead of telling it.
Nice one, Sam. Seriously, what were you thinking?
wednesday 04
Wednesday 04
Dear Dumb Diary,
Can you imagine how great school would be if you didn't get an education in it? Like, if all you did was just go in every day and hang around and not do anything important? It would be like being a teacher.
*PLUS I COULD USE MY STUDENTS AS SERVANTS
I looked around for some accent stuff on TV tonight and I found one show where people had French accents. The French accents made everything sound like you might like to eat it.
lLike if you see the words,"pie a la mode," in restaurant that means "pie with ice cream." Doesn't that sound good? Here's another:"head lice a la mode." That means you have head lice but at least still get to have ice creams. Doesn't that sound better than just having head lice?
Dear Dumb Diary,
Can you imagine how great school would be if you didn't get an education in it? Like, if all you did was just go in every day and hang around and not do anything important? It would be like being a teacher.
*PLUS I COULD USE MY STUDENTS AS SERVANTS
I looked around for some accent stuff on TV tonight and I found one show where people had French accents. The French accents made everything sound like you might like to eat it.
lLike if you see the words,"pie a la mode," in restaurant that means "pie with ice cream." Doesn't that sound good? Here's another:"head lice a la mode." That means you have head lice but at least still get to have ice creams. Doesn't that sound better than just having head lice?
tuesday 03
Tuesday 03
Dear Dumb Diary,
Mr. Eveans started us on another one of his famous projects today. he wants us to explore people and cultures thought the diffrent things they write. Then he asked us to trow ideas out there.
Sally, of coures, immediately had ideas. Sally, you may recall, Dumb Diary, is not homely enough to be as smart as she is - which I think is a form of lying. If somebody is really really intelligent, it would ugly it uoa bit before they left the house.
becouse of her smartness, Smally immediately said she'd like to study song lyric - which was pure genius become all she'll have to do is listen to music. My. Evans asked for somebody to partner with her, and then chouse Vivian, which probably makes sense becaouse she has more songs on her i Pod than anybody else. Her collenction is so impressive that the first time I saw it, i Peed.
Not really. Just a little joke there. I could have said i Pood, but i thought that would be too disgusting.
Margaret said she wanted to study poems, and Mr. Evans asked if anybody wanted to partner with her on that. Only T.U.K.W.N.I.F. (That Ugly Kid Whouse Name I Forget) raiised his hands, which would have horrified most girls, but Mie totally smiled. Kind of romantic, right? Love is weird, because even thought Mike is sort of gross (chews pencils, burps super loud) and T.U.K.W.N.I.F. is sort of gross (dirty nails, luch always smells like wet baloney) , the fact that the two of then really have feelings for each other makes then somehow seem eleven times grosser. (i have to give Mike a little credit here: Her beaverlike behavior has resulted in an ability to gnaw crude shapes out of pencils, which I guess makes her a sculptor, if anybody is looking for teensy, spitty totem poles.)
Of course, Angel also thinks pretty fast on her feet because they are tiny and dainty and more like what podiatrists call hooves anyway. She said she'd like to study graffiti. In case you don't know, Dumb Diary, graffiti is all the stuff people write on wall.) Dumb idea, uh? But here's the thing, i knew in ONE SECOND Mr. Evans was going to ask for a partner to volunteer, and in TWO SECONDS every hand in the room would go up. And Angle-who has nothing but very easy triumphs- would triumph again, triumphantly. So, I dumly did the only dumb thing I could dumbly do. I took a stand.
*SHE PROBABLY THINKS THE WHOLE WORLD IS HER ICE CREAM CONE
*AND WERE JUST THE SPRINKLES THAT LIVE ON IT
I blurted out,"Aww. I was going to say that!" And Evans did exactly what i knew he would do. He paired us up.
It all happened before knew it. The next time I think about talking a stand I'm going to take a nap instead.
*(ANGEL) TOTAL INNOCENCE THE VERY WORST KIND OF CUILT.
Anut CLover drove me home from school today. You remamber, Dumb Diary, that my aunt is an office lady at our school now. She is engaged to Assistant Principal Devon, who is Angel's uncle, which has fored me to be related to Angel somehow.
I have not lost hope, yet; being engaged to somebody is the first step torawd divorcing them. (I guess I just like to look on the bight side.)
Anyway, since Anut Clover is getting married soon, everything in her life revolver around the person might have with a person who has become a fiance:
ME: Did you see on the news that there was a big flood in Wheretheheckistan?
ANUT CLOVER: No, but if there's a flood here, i'll be in troble becouse my dress has a five-foot long train.
ME: Train, huh? Did I tell you my idea about Angel's face and a train?
AUNT CLOVER: No, but speaking of Angel's face, my boupuet is going to have some flowers in it the exact color of her eyes.
In between her desciptin of the awful old-people music they'll be playing, and the awful old-people food they'll be serving, Aunt Clover complained that she also has a job of making, distributing, and counting all those votes I was telling you about, on Earth to know who won what.
I called Sam and taold her, and she was so excited to know we'd be first that she made a noise like Mom makes when Dad forgets to put the toilet seat down, but without all the swearing that comes afterward.
*MOM ALSO MADE THAT SOUNG ONCE WHEN I WAS LITTLE AND I USED HER BRO TO PLAY THE HUMANFLY
Dear Dumb Diary,
Mr. Eveans started us on another one of his famous projects today. he wants us to explore people and cultures thought the diffrent things they write. Then he asked us to trow ideas out there.
Sally, of coures, immediately had ideas. Sally, you may recall, Dumb Diary, is not homely enough to be as smart as she is - which I think is a form of lying. If somebody is really really intelligent, it would ugly it uoa bit before they left the house.
becouse of her smartness, Smally immediately said she'd like to study song lyric - which was pure genius become all she'll have to do is listen to music. My. Evans asked for somebody to partner with her, and then chouse Vivian, which probably makes sense becaouse she has more songs on her i Pod than anybody else. Her collenction is so impressive that the first time I saw it, i Peed.
Not really. Just a little joke there. I could have said i Pood, but i thought that would be too disgusting.
Margaret said she wanted to study poems, and Mr. Evans asked if anybody wanted to partner with her on that. Only T.U.K.W.N.I.F. (That Ugly Kid Whouse Name I Forget) raiised his hands, which would have horrified most girls, but Mie totally smiled. Kind of romantic, right? Love is weird, because even thought Mike is sort of gross (chews pencils, burps super loud) and T.U.K.W.N.I.F. is sort of gross (dirty nails, luch always smells like wet baloney) , the fact that the two of then really have feelings for each other makes then somehow seem eleven times grosser. (i have to give Mike a little credit here: Her beaverlike behavior has resulted in an ability to gnaw crude shapes out of pencils, which I guess makes her a sculptor, if anybody is looking for teensy, spitty totem poles.)
Of course, Angel also thinks pretty fast on her feet because they are tiny and dainty and more like what podiatrists call hooves anyway. She said she'd like to study graffiti. In case you don't know, Dumb Diary, graffiti is all the stuff people write on wall.) Dumb idea, uh? But here's the thing, i knew in ONE SECOND Mr. Evans was going to ask for a partner to volunteer, and in TWO SECONDS every hand in the room would go up. And Angle-who has nothing but very easy triumphs- would triumph again, triumphantly. So, I dumly did the only dumb thing I could dumbly do. I took a stand.
*SHE PROBABLY THINKS THE WHOLE WORLD IS HER ICE CREAM CONE
*AND WERE JUST THE SPRINKLES THAT LIVE ON IT
I blurted out,"Aww. I was going to say that!" And Evans did exactly what i knew he would do. He paired us up.
It all happened before knew it. The next time I think about talking a stand I'm going to take a nap instead.
*(ANGEL) TOTAL INNOCENCE THE VERY WORST KIND OF CUILT.
Anut CLover drove me home from school today. You remamber, Dumb Diary, that my aunt is an office lady at our school now. She is engaged to Assistant Principal Devon, who is Angel's uncle, which has fored me to be related to Angel somehow.
I have not lost hope, yet; being engaged to somebody is the first step torawd divorcing them. (I guess I just like to look on the bight side.)
Anyway, since Anut Clover is getting married soon, everything in her life revolver around the person might have with a person who has become a fiance:
ME: Did you see on the news that there was a big flood in Wheretheheckistan?
ANUT CLOVER: No, but if there's a flood here, i'll be in troble becouse my dress has a five-foot long train.
ME: Train, huh? Did I tell you my idea about Angel's face and a train?
AUNT CLOVER: No, but speaking of Angel's face, my boupuet is going to have some flowers in it the exact color of her eyes.
In between her desciptin of the awful old-people music they'll be playing, and the awful old-people food they'll be serving, Aunt Clover complained that she also has a job of making, distributing, and counting all those votes I was telling you about, on Earth to know who won what.
I called Sam and taold her, and she was so excited to know we'd be first that she made a noise like Mom makes when Dad forgets to put the toilet seat down, but without all the swearing that comes afterward.
*MOM ALSO MADE THAT SOUNG ONCE WHEN I WAS LITTLE AND I USED HER BRO TO PLAY THE HUMANFLY
monday 02 dairy
Monday 02
Dear Dumb Diary,
Okay, Iget it. everybody always loves Sam best. Is it just becouse she's tall and slim and blond? So is a MOP. You don't see anybody getting all lovly-dovey with one of those.
Althought in elementary school, I once saw a janitor doing something that still makes me uncomfartable around mops. To make a long story short: Janitors are people, too, and Valentine's Day can be a very lonely time.
Today that announced that later on this month, they would be handing out ballots so we can vote for peopletegories like MOST ARTISTIC, FUNNIEST, AND BEST FRIENDS.
Of coures one of the categories is PRETTIEST, and i overheard some people at lunch going, "Why don't they just print Angel's name on the bollot for PRITTIEST? Everybody knows she's going to win. She always wins."
This is terribly unrealistic, becouse if a train tragically crashed into Angel's face, we'd have a whole bunch of useless ballots on our hands. And i'm not just thinking of myself here-the train owner would have a bumch of smushed gorgeousness to wipe off the frount of the train.
Sam always wins for MOST CLEVER, but she works really hard for that. And I always win for MOST ARTISTIC, and i work really hard for that, too-often exposing myself to sepuin fumes for hours on end. But not Angel. She wins PRETTIEST without even tyring. It's just not fair that everything is so automaticlly easy for Angel.
Seriously, isn't it time we took a stand againest the EFFORTLESSLY BEAUTIFUL?
*SPRAY ENTIRE POPULATION WITH BRUNETTE HAIR DYE
*ARREST PEOPLE WITH FREAKISHLY ATTRACTIVE EYELASHES
*OVERLY DAINTY FEET MUST BE TATTOOED TO LOOK HAIRY
Dear Dumb Diary,
Okay, Iget it. everybody always loves Sam best. Is it just becouse she's tall and slim and blond? So is a MOP. You don't see anybody getting all lovly-dovey with one of those.
Althought in elementary school, I once saw a janitor doing something that still makes me uncomfartable around mops. To make a long story short: Janitors are people, too, and Valentine's Day can be a very lonely time.
Today that announced that later on this month, they would be handing out ballots so we can vote for peopletegories like MOST ARTISTIC, FUNNIEST, AND BEST FRIENDS.
Of coures one of the categories is PRETTIEST, and i overheard some people at lunch going, "Why don't they just print Angel's name on the bollot for PRITTIEST? Everybody knows she's going to win. She always wins."
This is terribly unrealistic, becouse if a train tragically crashed into Angel's face, we'd have a whole bunch of useless ballots on our hands. And i'm not just thinking of myself here-the train owner would have a bumch of smushed gorgeousness to wipe off the frount of the train.
Sam always wins for MOST CLEVER, but she works really hard for that. And I always win for MOST ARTISTIC, and i work really hard for that, too-often exposing myself to sepuin fumes for hours on end. But not Angel. She wins PRETTIEST without even tyring. It's just not fair that everything is so automaticlly easy for Angel.
Seriously, isn't it time we took a stand againest the EFFORTLESSLY BEAUTIFUL?
*SPRAY ENTIRE POPULATION WITH BRUNETTE HAIR DYE
*ARREST PEOPLE WITH FREAKISHLY ATTRACTIVE EYELASHES
*OVERLY DAINTY FEET MUST BE TATTOOED TO LOOK HAIRY
THIS IS A DIARY (ENGLISH) ITS FOR EVERY 1 TO SEE
Sunday 01
Dear Dumb Diary,
I'm tyring to grow an accent.
Sam was over last night and we were watching this movie and it had thid one girl from
England in it and everything she said sounded smart or dainty.
She could say, "oh, do pardon me, but my little pup has just droped a major steame on your
priceless antique tablecloth. Frightfully sorry."
And you probably wouldn't even be mad.
You'd be all, "Oh yes, well, my fault for putting a princeless antique tablecloth in mty house
where your dog might leave a dumpereeno."
Sam syas that people in other countries are born with strange mouth deformities that make oursleves lucky that we can speak normally.
I think she's wrong . (it has happend before.) I'm going to try to grow an accents
write with accents?
Sam says she's heard Angel speak Spanish or French or something. I'm sure she learned it in some sort of unfair easy way, like being born with the deformaity Sam correctly identified, and not throught the rigonous study what I am enduring ot the University of Watching TV.
Dear Dumb Diary,
I'm tyring to grow an accent.
Sam was over last night and we were watching this movie and it had thid one girl from
England in it and everything she said sounded smart or dainty.
She could say, "oh, do pardon me, but my little pup has just droped a major steame on your
priceless antique tablecloth. Frightfully sorry."
And you probably wouldn't even be mad.
You'd be all, "Oh yes, well, my fault for putting a princeless antique tablecloth in mty house
where your dog might leave a dumpereeno."
Sam syas that people in other countries are born with strange mouth deformities that make oursleves lucky that we can speak normally.
I think she's wrong . (it has happend before.) I'm going to try to grow an accents
write with accents?
Sam says she's heard Angel speak Spanish or French or something. I'm sure she learned it in some sort of unfair easy way, like being born with the deformaity Sam correctly identified, and not throught the rigonous study what I am enduring ot the University of Watching TV.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
小公主要你帮忙
嗨！是我啊！我看越来越少人去我的blog了。
我很伤心。。。
请你帮帮我跟你的朋友讲叫他门近我的blog.
please...... 求求你呀！
*伤心的哭*，如果你们不帮我，我就叫我的好朋友帮。
哈哈！！！ 我要走了啦！
我妈妈骂我了哈哈拜拜！
我很伤心。。。
请你帮帮我跟你的朋友讲叫他门近我的blog.
please...... 求求你呀！
*伤心的哭*，如果你们不帮我，我就叫我的好朋友帮。
哈哈！！！ 我要走了啦！
我妈妈骂我了哈哈拜拜！
Friday, April 3, 2009
小公主讲她的生活
我很可怜啊！ 我昨天（二号四月2009） 跟我的好朋友绝交。
他的名是Angel Ho Kar Yen.
今天（三号四月2009），我跟我另一个好朋友绝交！
她是Nurl Ain (马来人）。
她讲我很喜环发大小姐脾气，很有钱，很babi 等等。
我改了，我想在种做好人！帮好人！努力读书！
last,我跟我朋友好回了！
我很开心啊！
如果你们没有了朋友或跟朋友绝交了，找我，我会帮你那会你朋友！
加油！努力！不要快快的放弃！没人鼓励你，我就鼓励你！
我是你的守护神！
叫我宝贝妹妹就可以了！
我也是我姐姐的科学小妹妹！咯咯。。。情别笑我是科学小妹妹哦。
哈哈。。。你可以问我可爱的科学问题我就回问科学姐姐。
他的名是Angel Ho Kar Yen.
今天（三号四月2009），我跟我另一个好朋友绝交！
她是Nurl Ain (马来人）。
她讲我很喜环发大小姐脾气，很有钱，很babi 等等。
我改了，我想在种做好人！帮好人！努力读书！
last,我跟我朋友好回了！
我很开心啊！
如果你们没有了朋友或跟朋友绝交了，找我，我会帮你那会你朋友！
加油！努力！不要快快的放弃！没人鼓励你，我就鼓励你！
我是你的守护神！
叫我宝贝妹妹就可以了！
我也是我姐姐的科学小妹妹！咯咯。。。情别笑我是科学小妹妹哦。
哈哈。。。你可以问我可爱的科学问题我就回问科学姐姐。
Thursday, April 2, 2009
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