tuesday 03

Tuesday 03
Dear Dumb Diary,
Mr. Eveans started us on another one of his famous projects today. he wants us to explore people and cultures thought the diffrent things they write. Then he asked us to trow ideas out there.
Sally, of coures, immediately had ideas. Sally, you may recall, Dumb Diary, is not homely enough to be as smart as she is - which I think is a form of lying. If somebody is really really intelligent, it would ugly it uoa bit before they left the house.
becouse of her smartness, Smally immediately said she'd like to study song lyric - which was pure genius become all she'll have to do is listen to music. My. Evans asked for somebody to partner with her, and then chouse Vivian, which probably makes sense becaouse she has more songs on her i Pod than anybody else. Her collenction is so impressive that the first time I saw it, i Peed.
Not really. Just a little joke there. I could have said i Pood, but i thought that would be too disgusting.
Margaret said she wanted to study poems, and Mr. Evans asked if anybody wanted to partner with her on that. Only T.U.K.W.N.I.F. (That Ugly Kid Whouse Name I Forget) raiised his hands, which would have horrified most girls, but Mie totally smiled. Kind of romantic, right? Love is weird, because even thought Mike is sort of gross (chews pencils, burps super loud) and T.U.K.W.N.I.F. is sort of gross (dirty nails, luch always smells like wet baloney) , the fact that the two of then really have feelings for each other makes then somehow seem eleven times grosser. (i have to give Mike a little credit here: Her beaverlike behavior has resulted in an ability to gnaw crude shapes out of pencils, which I guess makes her a sculptor, if anybody is looking for teensy, spitty totem poles.)
Of course, Angel also thinks pretty fast on her feet because they are tiny and dainty and more like what podiatrists call hooves anyway. She said she'd like to study graffiti. In case you don't know, Dumb Diary, graffiti is all the stuff people write on wall.) Dumb idea, uh? But here's the thing, i knew in ONE SECOND Mr. Evans was going to ask for a partner to volunteer, and in TWO SECONDS every hand in the room would go up. And Angle-who has nothing but very easy triumphs- would triumph again, triumphantly. So, I dumly did the only dumb thing I could dumbly do. I took a stand.
*SHE PROBABLY THINKS THE WHOLE WORLD IS HER ICE CREAM CONE
*AND WERE JUST THE SPRINKLES THAT LIVE ON IT
I blurted out,"Aww. I was going to say that!" And Evans did exactly what i knew he would do. He paired us up.
It all happened before knew it. The next time I think about talking a stand I'm going to take a nap instead.
*(ANGEL) TOTAL INNOCENCE THE VERY WORST KIND OF CUILT.
Anut CLover drove me home from school today. You remamber, Dumb Diary, that my aunt is an office lady at our school now. She is engaged to Assistant Principal Devon, who is Angel's uncle, which has fored me to be related to Angel somehow.
I have not lost hope, yet; being engaged to somebody is the first step torawd divorcing them. (I guess I just like to look on the bight side.)
Anyway, since Anut Clover is getting married soon, everything in her life revolver around the person might have with a person who has become a fiance:
ME: Did you see on the news that there was a big flood in Wheretheheckistan?
ANUT CLOVER: No, but if there's a flood here, i'll be in troble becouse my dress has a five-foot long train.
ME: Train, huh? Did I tell you my idea about Angel's face and a train?
AUNT CLOVER: No, but speaking of Angel's face, my boupuet is going to have some flowers in it the exact color of her eyes.
In between her desciptin of the awful old-people music they'll be playing, and the awful old-people food they'll be serving, Aunt Clover complained that she also has a job of making, distributing, and counting all those votes I was telling you about, on Earth to know who won what.
I called Sam and taold her, and she was so excited to know we'd be first that she made a noise like Mom makes when Dad forgets to put the toilet seat down, but without all the swearing that comes afterward.
*MOM ALSO MADE THAT SOUNG ONCE WHEN I WAS LITTLE AND I USED HER BRO TO PLAY THE HUMANFLY